Reformas ortográficas

This is like the dream of some people I know. But let me say it now: I think they suck big time.
Anyway, this is another funny thing:

La Real Academia de la Lengua dará a conocer próximamente la reforma modelo 2000 de la ortografía española que tiene como objetivo unificar el español como lengua universal de los hispanoparlantes. Me han mandado, con carácter exclusivo, un documento reservado que revela cómo se llevará a cabo dicha reforma. Será, pues, una enmienda paulatina, que entrará en vigor poco a poco, para evitar confusiones.

La reforma hará mucho más simple el castellano de todos los días, pondrá fin a los problemas de ortografía que tienden trampas a futbolistas, abogados y arquitectos de otros países, especialmente los iberoamericanos, y hará que nos entendamos de manera universal quienes hablamos esta noble lengua.

De acuerdo con el expediente secreto, la reforma se introducirá en las siguientes etapas anuales:

Supresión de las diferencias entre "c", "q" y "k". Komo despegue del plan, todo sonido parecido al de la k (este fonema tiene su definición téknika lingüístika, pero konfundiría mucho si la mencionamos akí) será asumido por esta letra. En adelante, pues, se eskribirá kasa, keso, Kijote.

También se simplifikará el sonido de la "c" y la "z" para igualarnos a nuestros hermanos hispanoamericanos que convierten todas estas letras en un úniko fonema "s". Kon lo kual sobrarán la c y la z: "el sapato de Sesilia es asul".

Por otro lado, desapareserá la doble c y será reemplasada por x: "Tuve un axidente en la Avenida Oxidental". Grasias a esta modifikasión los españoles no tendrán ventajas ortográfikas frente a otros pueblos hispanoparlantes por su estraña pronunsiasión de siertas letras.

Así mismo, se funde la "b" kon la "v", ya ke no existe en español diferensia alguna entre el sonido de la b larga y la v chikita. Por lo kual, a partir del segundo año, desapareserá la v y beremos kómo bastará kon la b para ke bibamos felises y kontentos.

Pasa lo mismo kon la elle y la ye. Todo se eskribirá con y: "Yébeme de paseo a Sebiya, señor Biyar". Esta integrasión probokará agradesimiento general de kienes hablan kasteyano, desde Balensia hasta Bolibia. Toda b será de baka, toda b será de burro.

La hache, kuya presensia es fantasma en nuestra lengua, kedará suprimida por kompleto: así, ablaremos de abichuelas o alkool.

A partir del tercer año de esta implantación, y para mayor konsistensia, todo sonido de erre se eskribirá con doble "r": "Rroberto me rregaló una rradio".

No tendremos ke pensar kómo se eskribe sanaoria, y se akabarán esas complikadas y umiyantes distinsiones entre "echo" y "hecho". Ya no abrá ke desperdisiar más oras de estudio en semejante kuestión ke nos tenía artos.

Para ebitar otros problemas ortográfikos se fusionan la "g" y la "j", para que así jitano se eskriba komo jirafa y geranio komo jefe. Aora todo ba con jota: "El jeneral jestionó la jerensia". No ay duda de ke esta sensiya modifikasión ará que ablemos y eskribamos todos con más rregularidad y más rrápido rritmo.

Orrible kalamidad del kasteyano, en jeneral, son las tildes o asentos. Esta sancadiya kotidiana jenerara una axion desisiba en la rreforma; aremos komo el ingles, ke a triunfado unibersalmente sin tildes. Kedaran eyas kanseladas desde el kuarto año, y abran de ser el sentido komun y la intelijensia kayejera los ke digan a ke se rrefiere kada bocablo.
Berbigrasia: "Komo komo komo komo!"

Las konsonantes "st", "ps" o "pt" juntas kedaran komo simples t o s, kon el fin de aprosimarnos lo masimo posible a la pronunsiasion iberoamerikana. Kon el kambio anterior diremos ke etas propuetas osionales etan detinadas a mejorar ete etado konfuso de la lengua.

Tambien seran proibidas siertas konsonantes finales ke inkomodan y poko ayudan al siudadano. Asi, se dira: "Ke ora es en tu relo?", "As un ueko en la pare" y "La mita de los aorros son de Aguti". Entre eyas, se suprimiran las eses de los plurales, de manera que diremos "la mujere" o "lo ombre".

Despues yegara la eliminasion de la "d" del partisipio pasao y kanselasion de lo artikulo. El uso a impueto ke no se diga ya "bailado" sino "bailao", "erbido" sino "erbio" y "benido" sino "benio". Kabibajo asetaremo eta kotumbre bulgar, ya ke el pueblo yano manda, al fin y al kabo. Dede el kinto año kedaran suprimia esa de interbokalika ke la jente no pronunsia. Adema, y konsiderando ke el latin no tenia artikulo y nosotro no debemo imbentar kosa ke nuetro padre latin rrechasaba, kateyano karesera de artikulo. Sera poko enrredao en prinsipio, y
ablaremo komo fubolita yugolabo, pero depue todo etranjero beran ke tarea de aprender nuebo idioma rresultan ma fasile. Profesore terminaran benerando akademiko ke an desidio aser rreformas klabes para ke sere umano ke bibimo en nasione ispanoablante gosemo berdaderamente del idioma de Serbante y Kebedo.

Eso si: nunka asetaremo ke potensia etranjera token kabeyo de letra eñe.

Eñe rrepresenta balore ma elebado de tradision ispanika y primero kaeremo mueto ante ke asetar bejasione a simbolo ke a sio korason bibifikante de istoria kastisa epañola unibersa.

Gosh! I'd have to relearn Spanish if this were true!! :p

Semantic priming

I was reading about the Keki language (which is material for a future post) and I stummbled upon the term semantic priming. The clearest explanation I've been able to find so far is this one, in a reseach by Hutchison and Balota:

Human languages are thoroughly contextual in nature. This fact can be seen plainly by considering how the meaning of a sound, word, sentence, or passage can change drastically when taken out of context, or placed in a different context. The contextual nature of language has proven to be a major challenge for developing computer algorithms that can understand or produce language, yet humans process language in context so easily that we are usually not even aware of it. Linguistic and cognitive scientists have been studying how humans process context for decades, often with respect to individual words in the context of other words. For instance, it is well established that a person's ability to recognize a word like "dog" is enhanced when it appears shortly after a word like "cat" that is related in meaning. Results like these are referred to as "semantic priming",

Priming refers to activating parts of particular representations or associations in memory just before carrying out an action or task. The remembered item is remembered best in the form in which it was originally encountered (auditory, visual, etc.).

The hypotesis of lexical priming (found in Prof. Michael Hoey's book Lexical priming, Routledge, 2005) are:

1. Every word is primed to occur with particular other words; these are its collocates.


2. Every word is primed to occur with particular semantic sets; these are its semantic associations.


3. Every word is primed to occur in association with particular pragmatic functions; these are its pragmatic associations.


4. Every word is primed to occur in (or avoid) certain grammatical positions, and to occur in (or avoid) certain grammatical functions; these are its colligations.


5. Co-hyponyms and synonyms differ with respect to their collocations, semantic associations and colligations.


6. When a word is polysemous, the collocations, semantic associations and colligations of one sense of the word differ from those of its other senses.


7. Every word is primed for use in one or more grammatical roles; these are its grammatical categories.


8. Every word is primed to participate in, or avoid, particular types of cohesive relation in a discourse; these are its textual collocations.


9. Every word is primed to occur in particular semantic relations in the discourse; these are its textual semantic associations.


10. Every word is primed to occur in, or avoid, certain positions within the discourse; these are its textual colligations.

Ongoing action reseach project

First of all, thanks for volunteering. I am doing this because I need some data about student's vocabulary for my action research project (check here if you want to know more about action research).
For those who will dare to be part of this project, the first step is to answer this vocabulary test (which is version A).
Onece you finish each level, press the "check" button and your result will appear on the left-hand side of the screen. Please write down your results for each level and send it to my e-mail address (which I should have given you after the class).
After you finish a level (and see your result), you can go to the next level by pressing the button "Next level".
If you have any doubts about this, please let me know. You can leave a comment in this post or send it directly to my inbox.

Again, all information I gather from this is absolutely confidential and will not have any impact on your grades.

Thanks for helping!

-Javier

Cambridge exams in English language

More than 2 million people in 130 countries take one of the many Cambridge exams. The most popular ones are the First Certificate in English (FCE) and the Certificate of Proficency in English (CAE).
I've seen peopleo who are not sure about what exam would be right for them. For some days, Cambridge ESOL has been piloting an online test at their website so candidates can know which exam is best for them. It consists of only 20 multiple-choice questions. You can try it out here.
Next year I might be taking one of those (if I have the money, that is).

It'd be great if you'd like to share here what test you were reccommended to sit.

Just because

Yes, that's exactly why. And because it had to be today. Javier, enjoy.

¿Culturas nacionales?

I'd like to quote something I read today. I found it very interesting.

Sabemos que todos los estados nacionales fueron creaciones artificiales en algún momento de la historia y que, en la mayoría de los casos, las nuevas fronteras agruparon a pueblos diferentes, los cuales muchas veces ni siquiera compartían un idioma común (un buen ejemplo al respecto es México). Para llegar a definirse como integrantes de una sola nación, los ciudadanos tuvieron que sufrir un largo proceso de ideologización política y de aprendizaje de la lengua dominante, procesos que hasta la fecha en muchos estados nacionales no han quedado totalmente concluidos. ¿Por qué entonces suponer una cultura nacional, si estas naciones fueron integradas por grupos distintos, cada uno con su propia historia cultural?

[Taken from Lenguas en contexto, from 2005]

Something I hadn't thought of!
I'll keep on reading this article (yeah, yeah. It is homework. I have to anyways!)

Tips for writing

The text in previous post made me remember this set of tips. I read it at PB, posted by Marta.

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Also, always avoid awkward, affected, annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should never generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
32. Do not put statements in the negative form.
33. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
34. A writer must not shift your point of view.
35. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
36. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
37. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
38. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
39. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
40. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
41. Always pick on the correct idiom.
42. The adverb always follows the verb.
43. Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
44. Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn't.
45. Hyphenate between sy-llables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.
46. Write all adverbial forms correct.
47. It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
48. Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have snuck in the language.
49. Don't string too many prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
50. "Avoid overuse of 'quotation "marks."'"